Keeping an Infertility Journal
Many young girls have used a diary to capture their innermost thoughts and dreams. Perhaps you had your own secret diary with gold or silver edges and a tiny lock and key. Today, many years later, we remember our diaries or journals fondly. Most of us have not taken the time to document our thoughts and feelings since we were young girls…
IT’S ALL ABOUT YOU
Even today, no matter what life stage you are in, writing in a journal, putting words down on paper, is still a great way to keep in touch with your inner self. Keeping a diary or journal is a way to connect us with our inner world. The words that we write in our journal are not heard by others. Those written words are powerful and, when we pen our private thoughts, we do not have to fear the judgment of others.
WHY KEEP A JOURNAL?
For most people, writing has several benefits. Writing is healing and can be a type of psychic or mental maintenance. When writing in a private journal, we count on our own words to release our inner feelings, concerns, hopes, beliefs, and ideas. For many, paced or timed writing helps slow down thoughts, giving time to dig deeper pull out feelings that have been buried. In addition, research has shown that intentional writing helps to keep immune cells healthy and active for weeks.
YOUR PERSONAL JOURNEY
The journey from infertility to fertility may sometimes seem like a winding road that never ends. When a couple is diagnosed with fertility issues, they often experience a wide range of emotions, from sad and tearful moments to moments of excitement and joy. Writing about your emotions and experiences will help you focus as you cover your winding road – your personal journey. Although it doesn’t matter when you start writing, it may be helpful to begin a journal at the start of your infertility journey to keep in touch with your thoughts, your hopes, and your difficulties along the way.
GETTING STARTED
If you are not experienced at keeping a journal and you don’t know where to start, consider the following steps:
- Set aside 20-30 minutes of quiet time in comfortable space. This quiet time can be daily or even weekly – just make sure that you set aside specific time to write. Ensuring a distraction-free time and space (that means no television or music in the background) will help you to be thoughtful and honest with yourself.
- Before you begin to put your pen to work, take a few moments to sit quietly. Deep breathing for a few moments will help you settle into the task at hand.
- Finding a topic to initially write about may seem daunting. Start, perhaps, with your hardest infertility experience to-date (maybe your infertility diagnosis, a specific fertility procedure, a conversation with family or friends, an appointment, etc.). Let your thoughts move freely from your mind to your pen and journal.
- Once you have a topic in mind, start writing. Keep your pen in hand for at least 20 minutes. Since this is your own private journal, don’t worry about grammar or spelling. Open up to yourself and let out your innermost thoughts and deepest feelings.
- As you are writing, write a little about the actual experience and then focus on the sentiments you were feeling at the time, along with the feelings you have as you are writing about the experience. Use “I feel” statements to help you express your feelings.
- Many journal writers have found that after penning their thoughts for at least four days, the subsequent journal entries become easier to complete. In those first entries, you may find feelings that have been buried – feelings that you didn’t even know you had stored away. If you are writing about your infertility journey, you will probably find that initial feelings include grief, anger, and profound sadness. This is normal. By the fifth day, new “journalers” often notice that they feel calmer and have a better sense of clarity, determination, and/or resolution.
Coming to terms with infertility is a long process. Writing about your infertility journey and experiences will help you to put your feelings in perspective, to accept new challenges and to heal the emotional pain that comes with an infertility diagnosis. Wherever you are in your journey, consider starting a journal today!
Many young girls have used a diary to capture their innermost thoughts and dreams. Perhaps you had your own secret diary with gold or silver edges and a tiny lock and key. Today, many years later, we remember our diaries or journals fondly. Most of us have not taken the time to document our thoughts...Read More